Comments on: Can I really endorse my weaknesses?

By: cynthia braden

cynthia braden — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:45:24 +0000

OMG! The anxiety! I’m very introverted by nature, and this marketing is so hard. I loved reading your post and especially the photos.

By: Eoin Stephens

Eoin Stephens — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:32:12 +0000

Thanks Casey, for posting on this personal subject. I can certainly identify with a lot of it, and it is good to hear shyness owned so positively!

By: brian ura

brian ura — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:54:05 +0000

Dear Casey,
Our culture currently pathologizes shyness, as does much of the main stream psych. literature. Studies have shown that shyness and extroversion have their roots in genetic endowment, which can be moderated by environmental factors. Being shy myself I have had an interest in this topic. I enjoyed reading “The Highly Sensitive Person” and found it to be empowering for me. I actually prefer shy people, all things being equal. They are often more thoughtful, sensitive, and better listeners. I am old enough to remember shy people being described as “modest”, which was actually considered a virtue and signaled quality of character. Keep up the good work. And Thanks!
–Brian Ura, MFT, ATR-BC.

By: Susan Meindl

Susan Meindl — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:04:53 +0000

PS: I agree that “The Introvert Advantage” will cover a lot of this as well since TEMPERAMENTAL introversion (… not the same thing as SOCIAL introversion which is learned rather than innate ) is a central factor in HS.

By: Susan Meindl

Susan Meindl — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:56:46 +0000

Casey,
I have been following your adventure with interest ever since you began promoting your book on the PT forums. You have every reason to be proud and I am glad that your shyness didn’t hold you back.
But are you really just “shy”? Have you ever encountered Elaine Aron’s concept of Highly Sensitive People (HSP)?
Is it by any chance the case that you are not just “shy ” but perhaps highly sensitive as well?
HSP’s are responsive to stimuli on all levels of the nervous system from pinpricks and skin conductivity to having lower latent inhibition (LLI) which permits more stimuli from both the outer world of sounds and sensations and the inner world of fantasy, intuition and dreams, to enter conscious awareness.. with the attendant danger of very often becoming overloaded and overwhelmed before others would.
High sensitivity is a double-edged sword which swings on the one side towards creativity (of which you have much) and on the other to frequent over-stimulation (stress and sometimes defensive withdrawal which may become social introversion). I believe that a lot of the introverted intuitive, empathic types who gravitate to the field of therapy are probably actually Highly Sensitive People (Prevalence in the population.. 15-20%)
Just wondering…
Susan
Read my articles on High sensitivity at:
http://ezinearticles.com/?expert_bio=Susan_Meindl

By: Kat

Kat — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:27:56 +0000

This is a wonderful article! It reminds me so much of the process of “SoulCollage®”, where you create a deck of cards, with each card referring to a part of your SELF. It’s all about acceptance, understanding, and knowing that every part of our being is there for a reason, a lesson…and the more we embrace all the parts, the more we feel fulfilled. For more information about this process, check the website soulcollage.com, or email me at kat4clay at gmail.com! Thanks Casey!

By: Marsha

Marsha — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:45:27 +0000

Thankes Casey, you’ve written for me as well. I too have been pround of getting out of my own way to mingle at business fundtions and conferences although this was not my comfort level. I also do public speaking and am fairly direct as well so when I mention to colleagues that I am an introvert they laugh. I am going ot begin a coaching practice and am facing the marketing “gremlins” and trying to find the ways to market that work for me…not drain me. Thanks for a refreshingly honest post.

By: Charlotte

Charlotte — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:56:20 +0000

Several years ago a book entitled “The Introvert Advantage” by Marti Laney, a therapist, happened my way. It and her other two books have been of enormous value to folks who manage energy “inside the self” rather than “outside the self”. And, no, I have never even met Marti even though I do reccomend her bood often.

One client, in particular began her sessions over three weeks in happy tears – “There was never anything wrong with me!”. She rates the book in the top three positive influences in her life to date.

In a culture that focuses on life “outside the self” it is a major validation to hear that life “inside the self” is equally worthwhile.

By: Bryan Knight

Bryan Knight — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:53:15 +0000

While there’s no denying the wonderful outcome of Casey’s shyness I can’t help wondering how she deals with clients who present their own issues that they want to change.

Do you say to the social phobic “Hey, it can be a good thing you’re terrified of public speaking because a lot of good can come from that. Let me tell you about my problem which is just about as opposite to yours as can be . . . .” ?

Yet basically I can see you’re right. Family members consider my bluntness and honest speech as not always a strength — yet such a “weakness” endears itself to clients because they soon learn that I am direct and plain-speaking. Therefore, they can trust what I tell them.

So…thanks Casey for the enlightenment.

By: Anna B.

Anna B. — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:33:58 +0000

Thanks for this post, Casey.

It brings to mind a quote by Pema Chödrön from her book, The Wisdom of No Escape:

“Our wisdom is all mixed up with what we call our neurosis. Our brilliance, our juiciness, our spiciness, is all mixed up with our craziness and our confusion, and therefore it doesn’t do any good to try to get rid of our so-called negative aspects, because in that process we also get rid of our basic wonderfulness.”

Perhaps there is no real difference between what we call our weaknesses and our strengths. It’s all part of the wonderfulness of who we are.

Thanks for the reminder that what we have to offer comes from who we truly are rather than by perfecting some version of who (and how) we think we should be.