He touched my heart and my life.
Today I received a letter letting me know that someone I adored had passed away. Although we hadn’t seen each other lately due to his ill health, I think about him all the time.
His name was Byron Perkins, Psy.D.
Byron was my supervisor as I went through the EMDR certification process. He taught me more about therapy and, of course, about myself than almost anyone in my professional career. He helped me grow from a fledgling newbie to a confident practitioner.
Here are just a few of the lessons he taught me:
1. Sometimes being ignorant can be the smartest course of action.
2. Choose your clients well. You will have more energy, money and capacity to love your life.
3. Just because someone has a clinical license doesn’t mean they are good at what they do.
4. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in another clinician’s countertransference. (Case in point: Once I was presenting a case in front of a consultation group and felt the advice I was getting was really bad (almost unsafe.) When recounting it later to Byron, he pointed out that the therapists in the group were acting out the roles of the family in the case I was presenting. It was a fascinating observation.)
5. Interns (pre-licensed clinicians) have a certain brilliance we should pay more attention to.
6. When you are having countertransference issues with a client, you are either feeling what the client feels at times – or what those around the client feel. (This alone has been a mainstay of my work.)
7. Surprises in therapy are rarely a good thing. Take your time assessing a client before taking him or her into your practice.
8. Have a no-show policy that is clear and that you happily stand by.
9. Enjoy a good giggle and don’t take yourself so seriously.
10. Above all, trust yourself.
I love doing supervision today. And in every session I’ve ever done, I’ve always felt Byron’s presence. I expect with his passing, I will feel it even more.
I am quite saddened today. And yet, when I close my eyes, I see the smile on his lips, his kicked-off Birkenstocks, and his huge heart encouraging me.
I pray that you have someone that influential in your life.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Casey,
I knew Byron, too. Nine years ago during my EMDR training he gave me a free session after that day’s training. I had gotten really activated during a dyad practice and he and the other trainers suggested I let them “treat” me. Well, he was amazing and the results were astounding. That experience changed the way that I do therapy. I am grateful to you, Byron. May you be peaceful. Ray
What a lovely post – thanks Ray.
Love the pearls you and Lorna have shared.
I’ve had a couple of people in my life who have passed along such wisdom….My clinical prof in grad school, Sheila Bienenfeld, PhD, who, when asked by very nervous therapists in training preparing to see their first clients at the university clinic said two words: “be curious”. Whenever I’m at a loss in a session, I remember those words.
Sorry for your loss, Casey.
Jondra
Thanks Jondra! Love “Be curious” (Thanks – that may prompt another blog post!)
Hi Casey, My EMDR certification and approved consultant mentor, friend, colleague, and coach, Liz Snyker, LCSW made her transition a couple of years ago. To date, she has made the most important contributions to my life both personally and professionally. I will add to your list, two of her wisdoms I loved:
1. business goes up, then business goes down, then business goes up……..
2. (when working with a client who drops out – unexpectedly): They did you a favor.
I’d love to hear more from others!
Lorna Christensen LCSW
Oh my Lorna – those are priceless! Thanks for sharing!