Comments on: Do you set goals?

By: Dr. Stephanie Buehler

Dr. Stephanie Buehler — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 21:44:50 +0000

A great question, and reading people’s responses has been interesting.
I’ve come to the realization that I’m about to accomplish all of the career goals I made for myself a long time ago with the upcoming publication of a book in 2011. Now at 53, I need to decide if I want to set new career goals or simply ride the tide and see what I come across, or what comes to me. I feel that pursuing some personal goals at this point might serve me better than pursuing career goals, that in a few months when my book manuscript is completed I can take a bit of a break, then see what career goals are important to me for the last decade or two of work life. At this point what is sounding good has more to do with enjoyment than with numbers.

By: Emily Pugh

Emily Pugh — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 20:03:30 +0000

Goals are self-created challenges. No one makes them for us thus they can be highly-rewarding, contextual, subjective, obtainable, and challenging all at once.

By: Christopher Old

Christopher Old — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 01:23:13 +0000

I tend to think the effectiveness of goal setting depends on the type of goals we set and, more importantly, the attitude we take into the process. Often, I think people set goals that do not motivate them. Goals that are too broad, are based on other’s needs instead of our own, or goals that seem impossible or are not measurable will often have little positive effect. Setting a goal that motivates you can really help you focus and stay on track.

An anology I often use involves a road trip. If you get in your car with no destination in mind and just start driving then you may, if you are lucky, end up somewhere interesting. If you are unlucky, you may run out of gas in the middle of nowhere and find yourself in danger. If you choose a destination before you begin the trip, and you choose a place you would like to see, then you are much more likely to end up where you would like to be. In addition, you have a guide along the way which can make it easier to enjoy the journey and be more relaxed as you travel.

Where I think many people struggle with goals is that they go into them with the attitude that they are the all importnat end point and achieving them is all important. I think a healthier way to approach goal setting is that it is a beginning that you can use as a guide for now. It helps give you direction but it does not keep you from changing course along the way. I think it is important be OK with changing your goals along the way. If something comes up that makes you decide to change course in your road trip then you can go for it. You simply choose to change your goal. This flexible attitude on goals is important because it helps keep you present during the journey. You have a goal you are heading toward but if you discover new information along the way then you need to consider it and possibly adapt. If you decide to change goals, that does not mean you “failed” at your original goal. Your original goal was a success at helping you start your journey and make your initial decisions along the way. In fact, you may not even have discovered this new goal (or calling) if you had not set the initial goal. In this way, each goal is a success in its own way and goal setting plays a helpful role in our lives. It helps us take that first step that leads to taking each step one at a time.

I hope that isn’t too confusing and that this gives a perspective to ponder.

By: Harry

Harry — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 18:54:58 +0000

Hi, I have some thoughts about goals. One, part of me is working towards identifying what I want in life and that has always been difficult although I am a successfull therapist.
Since taking hypnosis training I realize goals have to include the left AND right brain to be successful. I also have learned that it all depends on the person. Some of my clients desire to be in the process and get satisfaction by exploring their minds and thoughts. Some are more cognitive and logical and define goals in terms of action. So for me, I want to understand how each person “frames” what they mean by “goals”.

By: Sue Mitchell

Sue Mitchell — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 02:22:52 +0000

If a goal starts to feel like an added pressure in your life, it’s helpful to take a look at whose goal it really is. Often we take on the values of our culture or community, but not deeply enough to be committed to follow through. We say, “I will be more organized this year,” when clearly if we really valued being highly organized, we already would be!

If we make sure our goals are really things we value and want and aren’t just doing what we think we ought to do, then goals can help us make progress toward becoming our best selves. If we set goals that aren’t based on our true values, we set ourselves up for disappointment and feelings of failure.

By: John Williams

John Williams — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 20:54:10 +0000

This is a complex issue. If I visualize achieving great goals, I am more alert to opportunities to advance those goals and my appetite is whetted to make sacrifices towards the goals. But at the same time, I more acutely feel the disappointment and sense of failure as the realization of those goals continue to remain out of sight. It is like the balance between contentment and ambition; too much of either one is a problem. I have not been able to figure it out, but I have spent too much of my life favoring contentment and not going after greater goals, so I am inclined to err in the other direction these days. Still, it perplexes me.

By: Sharon Barnes

Sharon Barnes — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 23:40:53 +0000

I’m on both sides of that fence, too. What I’m finding is that most goal setting activities are designed by and made for logical-sequential learners. Since I’m a visual-spatial-kinesthetic learner, I find that sequencing things comes with great difficulty unless I adjust that for my learning style. I make/create something that represents my vision that serves to pull me toward and reconnect me with that vision. Then I work backwards asking myself, what needs to happen before that, and before that, and before that. It may seem like a round-about mtehod of getting there for those logical-sequential folks, but their ways don’t work for me, and this does.

By: Casey Truffo

Casey Truffo — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:04:16 +0000

I’m so glad to hear you found your magic key. Thank you for sharing.

By: Casey Truffo

Casey Truffo — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:02:53 +0000

I do remember Nancy. Good for you and good luck with your pre-license “March” (that makes me smile!) I look forward to someday being on that panel with you. Enjoy the holidays and thank your for your post!

By: Casey Truffo

Casey Truffo — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:00:50 +0000

It is just part of the deal Cheri. Thank you for writing it so eloquently.