When they asked Michelangelo how he made his statue of David he is reported to have said, “It is easy. You just chip away the stone that doesn’t look like David.”
In our therapy or coaching practices, in order to say ‘yes’ to the right things, we have to say ‘no’ to other things. Frankly, I never want to say ‘no’ to people or projects. This leads to overwork, fatigue and burnout.
In order to create the space for new opportunities, new ventures, new relationships and even new clients, there needs to be, well, space.
What do you need to say ‘no’
to so there is space for ‘yes’?
Here is a suggestion. Make a list of the activities that you have committed to – personal or professional. Estimate the time it would take to complete them all. Now, after you get over the shock of what you have committed to, begin to flag the ones that bring you love, money or joy. Then look at the ones that trigger anxiety. Do you have to do them? What would really happen if you said ‘no’?
Our profession can lead us easily to compassion fatigue. Please don’t let that happen to you. Stand up and say ‘no’ to the things that don’t serve you. I can almost guarantee that you will see new opportunities that you never saw before.
For me it will be saying no to tweaking the blog and saying yes to completing the writing of my new book, The Entrepreneurial Therapist.
What about you? What will you say no to? Please share in the comments section below.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Casey,
Years ago I had the good fortune to hear someone on a radio show talking about the “voluntary simplicity movement.” The interviewer asked the speaker, “What is the first step you should take if you want to move towards voluntary simplicity?” I expected (as you might also) that he would say that one should get rid of possessions, or, as you suggest Casey, get rid of obligations. But what he said was better and I have lived to testify to it’s truth. What he said instead was, “Do more of what you love”.
This is not at all antithetical to what you suggest, in fact I think that perhaps it just puts in a different form what you are trying to orient your readers towards.
What I have discovered personally is that when you prioritize the things that are the most meaningful and satisfying to you, that all the rest of life falls naturally into place…and inappropriate obligations just painlessly fall off the bottom of the list. It is also a supremely positive, self affirming and joy producing . I am not talking here about “having fun” though what brings us joy usually also “feels” very good.
In my case I returned to university at 45 to become a therapist. It was often hard work, but it was supremely meaningful and all the rest of my life, family and work organized itself around the project… supporting and facilitating it rather than detracting from it. That is what happens when you throw your heart into the ring and do more of what you love.
Susan,
How eloquently written! Do more of what you love to simplify your life. Nice. Thanks for sharing.
Susan, thank you. Doing more of what we love, also destress in such a way that we have plenty of energy left to do what we must in less time. Salut!
Casey-
You make a very good point about the importance of saying ‘No’ to things so that you can say ‘Yes’ to others.
I’ve said ‘No’ to a bunch of things in the past year that have increased my business and created a better work-life balance — I got off the BC/BS panel in January (which was scary but am so glad I did it); I no longer work Saturdays, and I now rarely accept sliding scale clients.
Those things freed me up to do other things, like finding a renter, creating a blog and a new website, and beginning to put out videos — all very exciting and energizing stuff that have increased business.
Regards,
David
David,
I love how you’ve been able to figure out what is working and not working and respond accordingly. Congratulations and thanks for sharing!
Casey
For me, Sunday AM’s are not negotiable. I would miss my church community too much. I was working for several years in a high-pressure hospital setting, and for two years, I allowed myself to be pressured into working Sundays. When I left that job, one of the first things I did was to reconnect with my fellow Unitarians. Even now, when I have colleagues who ask if I’m “available” Sunday AM’s, I nicely but firmly turn them down.
Nice job Valerie!